Big Burdens and Fading Hearts

  This post deals with episodes 9 and 10 of Big, and all the things leading up to them. You have been warned.

(Gong Yoo can stare at me like that any day.)

Matching blue and white stripes=matching feelings. :)

  I love that in this episode Da Ran fully confronts her feelings for Kyung Joon—her heart flutters for him, not Yoon Jae's body, and not for the naive ideal of love she had before, but for Kyung Joon. When she looks at him, she sees him, even when she finds him collapsed on the couch, she is crying because of his pain, not because the switch hasn't happened. Just as the hearts she drew on the park bench have faded, the hearts of infatuation that once came out of her eyes when she looked at Yoon Jae are gone, replaced by her true heart showing when she looks at Kyung Joon. Great progress, Da Ran! You're finally figuring out real love.

  I finally felt that the lost loves of creepy uncle and crazy VP had a point in this episode—they illustrate the importance of timing, and not making love wait. I think this is the main issue with Yoon Jae. Whatever his feelings were toward Da Ran, he always kept her waiting. So many times he didn't even show up. I think his love was that way, too. Even if it was sincere, it never showed up for Da Ran. Now that he has no control over her waiting for him, Kyung Joon has become the person she waits for, but she never has to wait too long. He rushes to her side, no matter what (except when he's pouting, and needs some prompting by Rabbit and Teddy Bear. I just want to say here that I love love love that Kyung Jae is getting relationship lessons from 6 year-olds, and I love the knowing looks Teddy Bear gives him when he proves his points.) And he's excited to see her. And she has the confidence that he will always come to her.

So adorbs!

Heartbreaking.

  I find the theme of burdens in episode 10 to be so interesting. Kyung Joon and Da Ran are so worried about the burdens they place on one another—something they haven't really analyzed before, even if it's come up. This is such a good sign of progress in their relationship. I love how newlywed-ish Kyung Joon is while he's being solicitous of Da Ran doing the chores. So cute!

  But this episode also deals with the burdens of past choices on our lives. This is especially true with Yoon Jae's aloof father and Evil Mother, who is majorly having to come to terms with her past. The subs on Viki said that she let her husband have the baby with the woman he loved but we know that genetically, Kyung Joon is her son. So even though it was her biological child, it was her husband's mistress who carried it, which I think would explain (although it doesn't justify, at all) her coldness toward Kyung Joon. He's still her son, and was conceived for her purposes—not out of love, not for his own sake, but for the sake of an older brother. In this instance, it was very calculated. I'm not going to delve into the ethics or morality of savior siblings, because I don't think most people can truly understand (I know I don't entirely get it). But for Evil Mother, leaving Kyung Joon to his own fate, not caring what happened to him after he saved Yoon Jae, is now a huge burden. I think for her it's mostly how it will affect Yoon Jae and her relationship with him.

  The professor's statement that salvation requires both love and sacrifice is so important. Evil Mother didn't love Kyung Joon, and Yoon Jae hasn't had the opportunity to love his younger brother, despite his deep sense of gratitude. Kyung Joon's sacrifice was not given out of love, but taken from him, and that has to be an important distinction for this story.

Well put, professor dude.

  Kyung Joon's pain at trying to return to his body is also telling—I don't think he's going to ever fully move back over. There's something very wrong with his body, or having his soul back in his own body, and it's not looking good for Yoon Jae's future (although I'm still craving some explanations of his past). Also, although Da Ran has been confused up until this episode when she sees Kyung Joon, but Yoon Jae's body, that confusion seems to be almost gone. She sees Kyung Joon only these days, and that is important. There has been so much confusion based on who she really sees/loves when she looks at him, but this seems to be resolving things nicely. When she rushes home after his collapse, (WHY didn't she take the bike? It would have been so much faster!) she is running to Kyung Joon's side. She sees him, and I feel that her nervousness is that it may not be Kyung Joon any more. Her tears are definitely for Kyung Joon and his obvious pain, and I think a little relief that he's still there with her. They just need to hug! They are both desperately in need of some hug therapy.

  The important thing they now need to learn is to share their burdens, because that's what will make all the pain and suffering bearable. That's what will bring them through all this hardship. And that's what love is.